Live In All of Your Dreams

Beef Broth and $7 Kelp Noodle Pad Thai

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Day 66 of Aclimating to LA:

Umm, so, today we walked into the whirlwind of Ere-won on a chaotic Friday at 2pm, which felt like a Saturday. Health freaks preying on tea tonics made from mushrooms and buying $7 kelp noodle pad Thai. What now?!?! Beef broth fully stocked in the section right here—>

This is LA to a T; I’m not even joking though.

I’m fully confused and equally surprised and broke so this is truly and utterly another planet for me to walk into. Vitamin waters and vitamin isles galore. All types of health filled cacao bars that taste disgusting AF and they’re at least $5 each!

What world is this even?!?!

People are buying this on a shelf, at a store!

First of all WTF?!?!

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My International Food Photo Gallery:
Goodbye 2017,👋 Hello 2018👋

In 2017 I reconnected with friends in Thailand. I left for Hong Kong for a few days, then headed to Europe and reconnected with friends in Berlin, then traveled around mostly by land to 15 different countries in six months time. I went to so many beautiful beaches and places, and stayed with dozens of different people, ate so much good food, then went to Primavera Sound Festival. Then I lived in Odessa, Ukraine for four months and taught English, took up pole dancing and continued to make tons of art. Then I recently came home for my birthday and the holidays after 2.5 years, to see my family et al! 🙌🙌🙌💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Welcome 2018!
Let’s see what happens next👀
Let’s chill the fuck out more! That’d be great!

WhatitdoOdessaUkraine2017!!!

3 months of Odessa, Ukraine Expat Life explained here: 👀🙀
💪Made it thru!🙌👉
Living with some crazy bitches!
Looking for housing but realizing that it costs too much to move and there will probably still be bugs in the city center, eww, gross, no fucking way tho! Cuz I can’t handle taking the marshrutkas that made me feel sick last Monday! 🚌
There are only cockroaches in the kitchen here at least, which means,
Eating at so many restaurants 🍽
Eating so many pizzas🍕🍕🍕
Taking Pole dancing class for the first time ever💃🏻
Halloween🎃
Winter is coming!❄️
I’ve never lived in winter before!❄️⛄️
Two couch beds, is it a couch? Or is it a bed? I’m confused…hmm…🤔🛋🛏
Two top bunks 🛏
Bed bug problems 🦀🐞
Five Schools🏫
10 Beach days 🏖
50+ buffet meals🏊
50+ yogurts of all kinds🏅
A bunch of new restaurants☑️
4 Tram rides🚊
1 Trolley ride🚃
50 Marshrutka rides🚌
20 days off
Hustling all the time💃🏻
Never not working🙄
Bring it🙌
Girl power puhlease💪
We got this!👍

The Marshrutka Diaries:

Monday: Now why would you heat up a lox croissant? Don’t cook my smoked salmon sandwich from Merry Berry! #ThisisUkraine! #itdoesntmakesenseever!

Exhaust getting into my Marshrutka (little yellow bus/ horrible form of public transport) making me feel so sleepy, I vowed never to take one ever again… until Wednesday.

Wednesday: Falling down in the Marshrutka (worst form or public transport) doesn’t hurt because there are people squished in all around you and they all picked me back up like it was nbd, it probably happens all the time tho😜 But I took a tram and a trolley bus as well, by myself👌🙌👏YAS! #thisissuccessinOdessain2017!

Now, what did we learn from all this? Take a tram or trolley, avoid the Marshrutkas at all costs! Don’t listen to people who tell you it’s okay to take the Marshrutkas, I’m a nonrussianspeakingtravelertouristteacher and they aren’t, so they don’t understand my Marshrutka madnesses and my Ukrainian nightmare! The end! Have a nice day! ✌️✌✌

ithelpstodream:
“ The world’s oldest tortoise is in a relationship with a younger reptile, and it turns out that tortoise is a male. Jonathan, who is 186 years old, has been in a relationship with a fellow tortoise Frederic for the past 26...

ithelpstodream:

The world’s oldest tortoise is in a relationship with a younger reptile, and it turns out that tortoise is a male. Jonathan, who is 186 years old, has been in a relationship with a fellow tortoise Frederic for the past 26 years.

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/worlds-oldest-tortoise-discovered-gay/

Me Too

I was traveling in Romania a few months ago and a friend and I went to this local families’ BBQ. A guy was very aggressive toward my friend. He was very pushy and insisted that we come to the BBQ. Also, he was very insecure about making sure that we trusted him. My friend had already been to the families’ house before we got there and said everyone was really friendly and it was fine to go over there. So I agreed, okay I’ll come to the BBQ with you guys. At the BBQ everyone was really drunk and I mean extremely drunk. I don’t know how much they drank but it was way too much. The testosterone levels were high. There were more guys than girls but there was a huge lady next to me, a sister in the family or something so I thought she would protect me or something at least. They were very welcoming. Some of the guys were really nice and friendly but a few were extremely pushy and aggressive. So anyways people were dancing and having a good time. The people were friendly and the one guy kept touching my friend and being overly aggressive. So at one point two of the guys came over and forcefully tried to kiss me and my friend on the lips. Oh, he tried alright but I pushed him away really hard so he couldn’t kiss me! I may not look it, but I’m strong as fuck, so. Apparently they made a bet with each other if they kissed us on the lips they would get money. There was one guy who spoke some English there. So they gave each other the money, but I was pissed! And I didn’t let it go either and I basically told the guy, hey that’s really fucked up what you guys did and they eventually apologized and said they were just joking. But he also was like, shh, my wife came back, don’t tell her what happened. And later everyone could tell that I was still pissed off and they kept asking me if I was okay. We left the BBQ early. It got awkward real fast, like it was them against me, even the sister didn’t seem to defend my side, thinking that there wasn’t something real wrong about what happened. I don’t care, in my opinion it was fucked up. I don’t care if it’s just a kiss, I think you shouldn’t make bets about kissing people or touching people period. It doesn’t matter if you have a wife or not, whatever! Just don’t be an aggressive prick! Do I look like I give a fuck? We don’t know what could or would have happened if we didn’t leave at that point. The guy wouldn’t stop being aggressive and trying to touch my friend and it seemed like the more alcohol that everyone drank, the night just kept getting crazier and also, it was The Full Moon FYI. But it’s never okay to harass anyone, period! If someone is not comfortable than you are in the wrong. I never asked for a kiss. I never intended to kiss you crazy people that I don’t know. If you have guests over at your house you don’t just try to kiss them without their permission do you? It’s not a cultural thing, it’s not a language barrier thing, it’s a human thing! Treat people like humans! That’s all!

Everything is a Story

Things people don’t like to hear about from my life story:

1) The beating of children by Thai teachers at both my public and private Thai schools
And how I don’t want to work with kids ever again! It’s like a trauma to see four and five year olds being beaten by your boss and something you can never forget. Also, they hit the 10 and 11 year old children with a stick on their hands. The western teachers and I never beat the kids so they would act out in our classes. It was like a zoo. It was so terrible and there’s really nothing you can do once the kids run around like crazy people. Plus I’m my second school, I had large class sizes of 40 kids which didn’t help at all.

2) Food poisoning

3) Bed bugs

4) Regular bugs, like cockroaches

5) My horrible/ emotionally abusive bosses in Australia

6) My job as an extra that pays minimum wage and what I really think about that horrible job and how the industry is mad racist and sexist.

7) Oh and the cultures of both the US and Australia are racist and sexist! At my jobs and other places I’ve experienced this many a time. Then people make assumptions or exceptions oh it’s just old people that are racist or sexist, but no it can be anyone! Eww!

8) My negativity about working.

9) Sometimes I like working and sometimes I hate it, when you work in a crazy foreign country, certain things can annoy you and piss you off more, just because many things about the culture are very different. It doesn’t make it easier and many times these countries have a polite culture where they don’t tell you directly about many things and someone else will tell you what the problem is after they have already discussed it in the local language behind your back. Like both Thailand and Ukraine.

10) When I was fired from my first job in Ukraine. It was humiliating at first but it was so easy to get another job like really, it was nbd. Oh you’re from the US, you’re not a dude from Nigeria, or a guy here for sex tourism, oh sure, you can come work for us.

11) I’m not from here, so I don’t know many things like the language and maybe the courtesies and the way they do things here might be way different.

12) I don’t really have real friends yet here because I’m working all the time. Some colleagues are friendly, but they’re my work colleagues and then you have students who are like super fans or think I have some God given knowledge just because I’m from the US and they want advice about their lives. I’m not a therapist or a life coach, like. There aren’t many people I can actually talk to truthfully about things and many times I feel like people want something from me. Like many relationships will not be equal simply because I’m from the US, because of money. It’s ironic though, I’m really not making that much money here anyways.

13) So there you have it folks the worst of the worst. Abusive situations can happen anywhere not just in Thailand or Australia, or the US.

14) Don’t even get me started on politics and being an American expat in the times of a political upheaval in the US. I can’t even say the terrible fuckers’ name. I was abroad throughout the campaign and the election, eww omg, eww! Just how fucking dumb are people, really?!?! I voted for Bernie Sanders in the Primaries and Hillary Clinton in the election. I voted by fax when I was in Thailand! That’s how fucking great I am. #yougottatryatleast #notmygovernment #notmypresident #ivoted #expatlife #dontremindme #Bernie #Hillary
#WomensMarch!